Helping Children to Cope Up with Life’s Big Transitions

As Martin Luther King Jr once rightly said,
“Change is inevitable. Growth is optional!”

The big life changes can sometimes be difficult for adults, but certainly not for innocent children. This is where your role as a parent or caregiver becomes crucial in guiding them through these transitions.

Transitions like exposure to new games, books or friends are super amazing for children. However, experiences like divorce, welcoming a new baby sibling, moving to a new school, etc., adversely impact children's emotional wellbeing.

Children who get support to adjust to new changes build resilience at a very young age. But not all children are the same. So, let us see how these changes might affect children.

Impacting Child's Mental Health: A Deep Concern

It's human nature to resist new changes. Adjusting to a new setup can be challenging for the child. The child's adaptability to changes depends on his personality and family's environment.

During this time, the child may exhibit the following characteristics if he finds it challenging to cope:

• Anxious

• Afraid

• Sad

• Clingy

• Less sociable than usual

• Mood swings

Before these characteristics create massive trouble for children, let us look at a few of the ways to prevent them.

Going to School: Starting a New Phase

When parents are aware of the upcoming significant changes, they can play a crucial role in preparing their children. One effective way is to help them develop new habits that will be useful when they start school.

Here are a few ideas:

1. Familiarizing Children to School

Children love routine and comfortable environments. Therefore, it is better to take the child to the school in advance and familiarize him with the new place. If possible, arrange a meeting with the teachers and request them to make the child comfortable in their presence. Appeal them for a brief tour of the classroom, games, and fun activity rooms.

2. Acknowledge Child’s Fear & Worries

Do not try to be harsh with children when they get angry, cry, or often get confused when going to school. During this time, hug them and acknowledge their fear, but respond sympathetically.

For instance, a parent may say to the child sympathetically:
“I know it is difficult, but it happened to everyone, even to me, but it is for your well-being. Moreover, you will make friends and have a lot of fun with them.”

3. Praise the Child

Actively listen to the child after he attends school. Ask about everything that happened on the school premises. Praise the child for being fearless and going to school. The nice compliments increase the child’s confidence and make him regular with the school-going routine.

Welcoming a New Sibling

The arrival of the new siblings might be super exciting for the young toddler. However, the child might only be happy for a short time due to the more attention required by the new child.

Let's see how this situation can be tackled:

1. Giving Preparation Time to the Child

It is better to share good news with the child in the early stages of pregnancy. Prepare them for all the changes that they will face after the baby’s arrival. One can do the following:

• Show them their baby photos

• Teach them about sibling love

• Make them aware of the fact that a newborn requires more attention

2. Remain Connected to the Child

Undoubtedly, it is difficult to spare extra time for the older child after the new baby arrives home. Still, it is necessary to spare a little time for the older child to reassure that your love and care will remain consistent forever. This makes coping with the new changes easier for the older child.

3. Make Child Feel Special

There are plenty of ways to make the older child feel special after the arrival of the new baby. Let us look at a few of them:

• Asking about their suggestion for the toys of the new child

• Requesting them to sing a lullaby for their young sibling

• Asking them to swing the cradle, etc.

Divorce: Time When Child Needs a Lot of Support

A divorce is a highly stressful and harsh emotional experience for everyone involved. But for a child, it is the time when he needs maximum support, as his two essential pillars of love are now separated.

Let's see how we can help the child go through this phase:

1. Maintain the Same Routine

A child might feel agitated due to sudden changes in his life. Therefore, the parent living with the child must ensure that everything, including the child's routine, is normalized as it was earlier. If you are moving to a new house, try to set up the room as it was in the previous home. Keep the bedtime and mealtime routines the same. Spend time with the child, such as earlier, etc.

2. Maintain Positive Environment

Parents should avoid talking about separation or fighting in front of their children. Instead, they should try to be happy and foster positiveness in front of them. Ensure you do not let the reflection of your anxiety or depression impact on the child’s mental well-being.

3. Keep Children Engaged in a Healthy Environment

The need to involve the child in a healthy and happy environment becomes more important when the child suffers through such circumstances. Encourage the child to spend time playing with friends. Along with yourself, involve the child in mindful practices like meditation, yoga, etc. The better a child feels healthy, the better it is to withstand everyday challenges.

Conclusion

Supporting children through major life transitions is crucial for their emotional well-being. By offering understanding and guidance, we help them build resilience and adaptability. Acknowledging their fears, maintaining routines, and providing special attention can ease their adjustment. Remember, each child is unique, so staying connected and empathetic is key to helping them navigate these changes successfully.